Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
