there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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