hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
