Kiss
Puke
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
