Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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