he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
