I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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