i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
