I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
