you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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