i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
