Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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