I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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