batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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