It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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