he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
