i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize