girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
