I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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