If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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