3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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