Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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