Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
This house was built for laser tag.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
