What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
