So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
