I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
