I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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