remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
A+ Viking dick
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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