I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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