I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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