we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
