just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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