I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
