i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
