Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize