Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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