you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
