I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
