This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
