i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
