I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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