would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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