Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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