Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize