hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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