Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
