You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
