You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's great music for shaving your balls
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
