Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
