think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
