Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
