i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
