worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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