It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
