Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
