oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
