you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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