Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
