the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
