i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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