So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
