My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
